It’s late on a weekend night and you’ve written one of those e-mails that seems terribly important at the time – maybe an aggravated swipe at the boss or a swooning declaration of love. The problem is, you might be a little inebriated, and this could be an e-mail that should be stopped in its tipsy tracks.
That’s where Google’s Mail Goggles come in.
Yes, the fun folks in Mountain View, Calif., have put together a handy little program that lets Gmail users take their sobriety into account before sending out a potentially embarrassing e-mail.
The name is a play on “beer goggles,” the vision-altering effect of too much brew, which makes members of the opposite sex look dangerously more attractive than they actually are. With Mail Goggles, however, you don’t need your best friend to step in and check your intentions; you simply have to answer a few math questions. If you get them right – quickly – you’re free to send your missive on its way.
Sober enough for arithmetic, Google figures, is sober enough for e-mail.
Mail Goggles seems like a great idea, and it could save a lot of people from sending out messages they never should have typed. Take, for example, the college kid who ill-advisedly wrote to an English professor, “Can’t see through your retardness” along with “Do you live in a conformist vacuum of retards?” Kudos to him for a consistent approach, but it’s easy to imagine he would never have gotten to “Send” if he’d had to answer “What’s 42 divided by 7?” first.
Of course, you don’t have to be a hot-headed student to write an idiotic message; you could be a hot-headed television personality. Recently Pat O’Brien of celebrity news show “The Insider” sent his bosses an e-mail touting his own reputation – and noting that viewers “wanted to vomit” over some of his colleagues’ work. Speculation went out immediately over whether O’Brien was drunk when he wrote it, and perhaps a quick “What’s 497 minus 362?” could have saved his job.
For sheer stupidity, however, it seems that politicos and appointed officials might be the most desperately in need a “Wait – don’t send it!” e-mail check. There was the chief of the Hawaii Tourism Authority, who got caught forwarding e-mails containing porn and racism; the congressman who sent lewd messages to a number of congressional pages; and the city councilor who mistakenly sent “Give him all the rope he needs to hang himself” to – oops – the guy he wanted hanged. Quick, fellahs – how many times does 11 go into 121? And what the heck do you think you’re doing?
Yes, stopping to think before you hit “Send” is always a good idea, and a little sobriety-checking math might be just what we need. So the next time you’re imbibing and writing, raise a glass to the Mail Goggles guys at Google.
Way to go Mr. Late-Night E-Mail Wingman. This Bud – and this sobriety-checked missive – is for you.
This classic Miss Communications column was originally published October 17, 2008.
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