Working in an office has its drawbacks: The noise, the thermostat wars, the scent of cat-food-like leftovers wafting from the break-room at lunch. And at this time of year, most American offices provide yet another opportunity for torment: The official holiday party.
If you love dressing in sparkles and Santa-themed neckware while throwing back a few brewskis, the office party could be the highlight of your year. But if you have a tendency to feel embarrassed – or you’d simply rather do time with anyone but your office-mates – enforced merriment is a big pain.
Those of us who are party-lovers generally know what to do: Watch out for the open bar, be polite to the spouses and stay away from embarrassing conversations such as “Weren’t you in love with your assistant for a while?” and “Remember that dirty joke you e-mailed to the boss?”
But for those who wish they didn’t have to go, there’s a lot of advice to be found on surviving this party in style. Everyone from psychologists and etiquette experts to your in-house HR team is ready to offer tips and tactics on keeping things sane.
Many of the suggestions are drab. Several experts, for example, suggest coming up with some small-talk topics ahead of time, such as the lame “What’s your favorite thing about the holidays?” or the tedious “How does this time of year affect your work?”
These safe-chat subjects are supposed to come in handy if you find yourself talking to a stranger or an introvert – and if you have any doubts about your ability to pull them off, the truly dull suggest practicing in front of the mirror.
You: How do you like the weather we’ve been having?
Mirror: You’ve got toothpaste on your tie.
Other tips are entirely practical: Fill up with a pre-party meal to help absorb any alcohol coming your way; and don’t bring a date you hardly know, because both your date and your co-workers could find themselves in a bit of a mess.
Co-worker: So, how long have you been dating Kelly?
Your date: Who’s Kelly?
There’s advice that’s politically correct (wish co-workers a “happy holiday” rather than naming any ethnicity-centric event); advice that’s business oriented (do a little casual networking with that top-level exec who wouldn’t otherwise know your name); and a whole lot of advice that’s geared toward that inner person-of-ill-repute who’s presumably dying to get out (follow an appropriate dress code, watch your language, and make “no sexual contact” your rule).
Co-worker: Oh, look! We’re under the mistletoe!
You: How nice. You may shake my hand.
If you’re often uncomfortable at parties and you don’t how to relax, hold a pleasant conversation or keep your clothes on in the presence of an open bar, then by all means, do your office-mates a favor and perform a Google or YouTube search on “holiday party survival,” and take the advice to heart.
But if you’re generally calm, conversational and fully dressed wherever you are, then go forth, mingle and have a festive – if cautious – time.
