Miss Communications

Dirty Work

One of the many interesting things we’ve learned from TV in the past few years is that there are a lot of dirty jobs in this world. Every day, thousands of people are up to their elbows in manure, fish guts or some other kind of muck.

But of all the dirty jobs you could sign up for, perhaps none could be worse than this: Handling public relations in the messy world of corporate oil.

Imagine having to find new and creative ways to say “Let’s not overestimate the problem” and “We’re doing the best we can.” And imagine having to tap dance, backtrack and generally put a positive spin on the daily news gushing from the Gulf of Mexico – none of it good.

As oil spill investigators look into what went wrong and why it isn’t getting better, one of the disasters they’ve uncovered is a set of flawed response plans from BP. These reports supposedly detailed the likely effects of – and planned reaction to – a great big spill in the Gulf.

Unfortunately, the write-ups include many errors, such as emergency telephone numbers that are incorrect or disconnected, references to “sensitive biological resources” that have never existed in the area, and plans to work with a wildlife specialist who died 4 years before the material was published. The reports also vastly underestimate the potential damage and broadly overestimate the company’s preparedness to clean up a mess.

The problems are obvious now, but they’re so egregious that plenty of them must have been obvious all along.

Clearly, there were people involved in these write-ups who couldn’t have cared less whether the final work was useful, helpful, or in any way reality-based. People who didn’t bother to fact-check or ask questions. People who weighed the possibility of an ugly disaster against the comfort of a regular paycheck. People who buried their heads and took the easier route.

But I’ll bet there were also people who wanted to do the right thing. People who spoke up when they were told “Let’s just say the oil will never reach the coast” and “Be sure to suggest that animals won’t be seriously harmed.” People who were shot down when they suggested the data were faulty and the scenarios should be checked. People who were told to cooperate or look elsewhere for work.

If you’ve ever been the unpopular voice on a project you knew was being handled badly – a quality question ignored; a safety factor overlooked; an ethical issue swept under the rug – you know what it feels like to be disregarded, dismissed or even threatened with your job. And you know how hard it is to convince people that unpopular ideas deserve attention and ugly truths are still truth.

Perhaps if there’s one good thing to come out of the BP disaster, the gulf spill – or whatever the PR pros are calling it these days – it’s a chilling reminder that minimizing problems on paper doesn’t minimize them in real life.

And doing a shoddy job up front can leave a lot of things – coastlines, wildlife and entire executive and management teams – covered in some kind of muck.

What if Meetings Were a Good Use of Time?

There’s a great line in “Sleepless in Seattle” where the Bill Pullman character lets the Meg Ryan character – his one-time fiancée – off the wedding-bells hook. “Marriage is hard enough,” he says, “without bringing such low expectations into it.”

You could actually say that about a lot of things. But if you apply it to office meetings, it rings especially – and painfully – true.

Meetings are tough. Meetings are supposed to be work. Good meetings require people to come together, communicate their thoughts clearly, listen to each other’s ideas and come up with practical-yet-innovative next steps. But in a lot of offices, people are so used to tedious meetings – where things that need to be discussed are avoided, decisions that ought to be made are postponed, and the input of very few people is actually considered – that they walk into the room expecting little or nothing will get done.

With that in mind, it’s no surprise that millions of people spend much of their meeting time heads-down in their laptops and smart phones, either attending to their real work or just wiling away the time.

Some managers try to police the situation by disallowing off-task behavior in the meeting room. But what if we took the responsibility off participants to please pay attention no matter how boring it gets, and we put the onus on meeting planners to please make this worth our while no matter how much might be competing for our attention?

What if we required meetings to be a good use of everybody’s time?

One of the best ways to ensure that meeting time is productive time is to invite the right people in the first place. Make sure the attendees for every meeting truly need to be there and that they actually will add to and benefit from the discussion. If they don’t and they won’t, you’re wasting their time and practically begging them to tune out.

If you need somebody’s participation before your project can move forward in a meaningful way, invite that somebody to your meeting and listen carefully to what they have to say. But if you just want someone to know what was decided so they can get their own job done, copy them on your clear and well-organized minutes once the meeting is through.

Not sure whether some people ought to attend? Ask them ahead of time what concerns they might have. Consider scheduling them as “available but not required” and call them in for part of the discussion – if and when their input will help.

On occasion, of course, it’s important to get people into the same room even when they’re not part of a genuine discussion. When there’s difficult, this-will-change-your-job-as-you-know-it information to be disseminated, or positive, this-is-so-exciting-we-want-to-share-it-as-a-team news to be told, it makes sense to announce it face to face.

But for the most part, meetings aren’t a productive way to keep people informed. They’re a sometimes-productive way to get work done. Don’t turn them into an expensive way to distract people from the work they truly need to do.

Social Media Addiction Isn't for Everyone

Imagine yourself busy, up to your neck in work assignments, trying to manage a dozen family obligations and household tasks – and possibly even a social life on the side. If you’re like many people, this exercise takes no imagination at all, because it’s a snapshot of your day-to-day life.

Now imagine that – in the middle of all this – several of your closest colleagues, a bunch of people you hardly know and a shocking number of complete strangers keep popping up in front of you to say “read this article,” “watch this video” or “check out what I found online.” If you’re participating in social media then this exercise, too, takes no imagination – because this, too, is happening all the time.

Social media is the biggest buzz to hit the business world since the Internet itself. It’s been lauded as a great way to get out your message, keep in touch with customers, build trust and more. But it’s also been decried as a ridiculous way to waste time, avoid the work you need to do, display a sad lack of typing ability and worse.

In truth, both views are right. Social media tools are helping many businesspeople do some very interesting things; but they’re helping a million others wreak havoc upon an overworked world.

On the positive side are organizations that have discovered they truly can’t hide in an online world. These companies have learned that people love to broadcast their opinions, and they’ve responded with openness, a friendly public presence and a cadre of online service reps armed with humor, clear writing skills and swift offers to make good.

Many companies have turned social media into an important feedback channel. And some even have executives participating in surprisingly honest ways: Write-ups that go far beyond the average “We’re here to do great things for you” and delve into such interesting topics as “Here’s how this industry works” and even “This is the ugly truth.”

But then there’s the negative side of social media; the millions of bloggers, Twitterers, YouTubers, Facebookers and more who see chattering online as an end in itself. These are the tireless keyboard jockeys who succumb to the Internet’s addictive nature and the dream that fame and fortune – in the form of more followers, fans or page hits – will come to those who tweet.

These folks post incessantly, and they get a kick out of interrupting everybody else’s thought-stream with “read this,” watch this” and “check this out.” And if you’re not careful, they can suck the time right out of your day.

But only if you let them.

So if you’re working, busy and up to your neck in assignments – but constantly tempted by your social media connections’ entreaties to stop, click and wander away from your work – remember that your time isn’t their slave.

Avoid the senseless orders to click through, to check out their blogs, and to catch up on their latest comments du jour – unless they’ve given you a sensible, compelling reason why you should.

Remember that the seductive buzz of followers, fans and re-tweets might be many people’s idea of an addictive thrill, but it doesn’t have to be yours.

Information Overload: The Enemy Is Us

You’ve probably heard the phrase “too much information.” That’s what you get when your college-aged kids describe their spring-break shenanigans on Facebook, or your brother-in-law shares the details of his fungal infection at brunch.

But there’s another common problem that involves too much information, and it takes place in offices everywhere, everyday. It’s called information overload, and its miserable effects are devastating our time and productivity at work.

According to Jonathan Spira, CEO and chief analyst at research company Basex as well as vice president of research at the Information Overload Research Group (IORG), information overload costs American companies about $900 billion per year in decreased productivity and lost opportunities. Most of the losses are caused by frequent interruptions, time spent switching between tasks and trying to recover again, and the inability to find uninterrupted hours to concentrate on important tasks.

In addition, information overload takes its toll on job satisfaction and work-life balance, as many workers feel they have to cram more work hours into the day just to get things done.

Spira said it’s difficult to see exactly which components of our workdays are being ruled by information overload, because the problem is insidious and it “just sucks away time.” Altogether, “You don’t necessarily realize where 25% or more of your day went,” Spira said. “You just don’t have that 25%.”

How do we solve it? IORG is helping – by pulling together professionals who take an active role in fighting information overload through research, education, development of better tools and a better-work-habits approach. (Full disclosure: I’ve joined.)

But the real solution lies within each one of us, Spira said, and in recognizing the truth in the title of a recent Basex report, “Information Overload: We Have Met the Enemy and He Is Us.”

“We’re all at the root cause of this,” Spira said. And when it comes to both the problem and its solutions, “The small things we do can have huge impact.” Here are Spira’s suggestions.

Improve your e-mail hygiene. Put an end to the rampant use of large distribution lists and reply to all – especially when your message is no more useful than “thanks,” or “great idea.”

Don’t self-interrupt your day, and keep others from interrupting you. Stop checking e-mail 10 times an hour or every time you hear it ping; set your instant-messaging status to “busy” when you need some unbroken time to think and work; and if you don’t have an office door you can close, develop some sort of this-barricade-across-the-doorway-means-don’t-interrupt-me system – or find a quiet place where you can really work.

Make your communications clear and succinct. Whether you’re creating e-mails, voice mails, written reports or slidesets, resist the temptation to include every bit of information you have. And before you hit Send or Print, make sure your message is clean, clear and complete.

Begin a dialogue. Speak out against the problem at work, and openly discuss its effects and potential solutions – because overcoming information overload will take a lot of education and an ongoing cultural shift.

But mostly it will take a lot of little changes from the enemy within: Every one of us.

Resolve Not to Abuse Social Media this Year

By any measure, 2009 was a huge year for social media. The phrase gained traction on magazine covers, Web pages and conference brochures, and as all the big “SocMed” sites such as Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn grew at breakneck speed, the prevailing advice was that every one of us needed to turn on and tune in – or risk dropping out of sight.

But just like those who turned on in the ’60s and can’t remember what happened next, a lot of impressionable people are using social media as today’s drug of choice. The effect, of course, can be overwhelming: Too many stimuli creating a bizarre alternate reality – and scrambled brainwaves in the end.

Social media is clearly here to stay, but it’ll take a bit of wisdom and good judgment to avoid turning it into an attention-thieving overdose of junk. Perhaps a few clear-headed resolutions for 2010 could help. Let’s start with three.

Resolve not to update your business contacts on the boring minutiae of your day.
If you’ve got a personal Facebook account, you’ve got carte blanche to tell friends and family that cold weather sucks or how much you love pudding. But if you’re building a conversation with partners, customers, potential clients and other hard-working folk, don’t waste their time with the tiny stuff.

Promise yourself that, before posting any comment, video or write-up, you’ll take a long, hard look at whether it truly adds anything to your fans’ and followers’ lives. “Lunch at LoDo Café is always delicious” might be interesting to food-seekers and helpful to the restaurant itself, but “I love tuna sammies!” brings enlightenment to few.

Resolve not to approach social media simply as free ad space.
It’s intriguing to think you could post a few quick notes about how marvelous you are and what useful services you provide, and the world would beat a path to your door. But nobody wants to read a lot of ads, and the more you burden your social network with commercials that are all about you, the less attention people will pay.

Make it your goal to give people information they’ll want, not self-serving shout-outs that interrupt the search for deeper truth. A post on the year’s new tax laws could be interesting and helpful to thousands, but a write-up on why people should trust you to handle their money is noise.

Resolve to look smart.
The quick-and-easy nature of the Internet has contaminated many a social-media post, from comments filled with inscrutable spelling to blog entries that seem to have been written by squirrels on crack. But when the goal is to attract people to your business or cause, looking stupid is not your best approach.

Challenge yourself to communicate clearly and intelligently whenever you’re writing for public consumption. A collection of wise and thoughtful posts will help people develop a positive impression of you and your work, and it’ll help us all keep the addictive world of social media from turning into another bad trip.

The Holiday Office Party: Ho Ho or No No?

Working in an office has its drawbacks: The noise, the thermostat wars, the scent of cat-food-like leftovers wafting from the break-room at lunch. And at this time of year, most American offices provide yet another opportunity for torment: The official holiday party.

If you love dressing in sparkles and Santa-themed neckware while throwing back a few brewskis, the office party could be the highlight of your year. But if you have a tendency to feel embarrassed – or you’d simply rather do time with anyone but your office-mates – enforced merriment is a big pain.

Those of us who are party-lovers generally know what to do: Watch out for the open bar, be polite to the spouses and stay away from embarrassing conversations such as “Weren’t you in love with your assistant for a while?” and “Remember that dirty joke you e-mailed to the boss?”

But for those who wish they didn’t have to go, there’s a lot of advice to be found on surviving this party in style. Everyone from psychologists and etiquette experts to your in-house HR team is ready to offer tips and tactics on keeping things sane.

Many of the suggestions are drab. Several experts, for example, suggest coming up with some small-talk topics ahead of time, such as the lame “What’s your favorite thing about the holidays?” or the tedious “How does this time of year affect your work?”

These safe-chat subjects are supposed to come in handy if you find yourself talking to a stranger or an introvert – and if you have any doubts about your ability to pull them off, the truly dull suggest practicing in front of the mirror.

You: How do you like the weather we’ve been having?
Mirror: You’ve got toothpaste on your tie.

Other tips are entirely practical: Fill up with a pre-party meal to help absorb any alcohol coming your way; and don’t bring a date you hardly know, because both your date and your co-workers could find themselves in a bit of a mess.

Co-worker: So, how long have you been dating Kelly?
Your date: Who’s Kelly?

There’s advice that’s politically correct (wish co-workers a “happy holiday” rather than naming any ethnicity-centric event); advice that’s business oriented (do a little casual networking with that top-level exec who wouldn’t otherwise know your name); and a whole lot of advice that’s geared toward that inner person-of-ill-repute who’s presumably dying to get out (follow an appropriate dress code, watch your language, and make “no sexual contact” your rule).

Co-worker: Oh, look! We’re under the mistletoe!
You: How nice. You may shake my hand.

If you’re often uncomfortable at parties and you don’t how to relax, hold a pleasant conversation or keep your clothes on in the presence of an open bar, then by all means, do your office-mates a favor and perform a Google or YouTube search on “holiday party survival,” and take the advice to heart.

But if you’re generally calm, conversational and fully dressed wherever you are, then go forth, mingle and have a festive – if cautious – time.

Wanted: Stupid E-Mails

When's the last time someone asked you for a stupid e-mail?

In real life, I speak on creating smarter e-mails, and true stories are always the funniest and most memorable part. For example, people love the graphic designer who mistakenly wrote to her client, "Could we please whine a little more?" They adore the manager who meant to sign off "Regards," but called his team "Retards," instead.

Some of the stories are embarrassing. Some of the stories are shocking. And some of the stories are pee-in-your-pants funny. But a lot of the stories are too naughty to repeat in a crowd. Yes, mistakenly replying-to-all with a joke about oral sex is hilarious. But it doesn't play on stage.

So I'm on the hunt for more genuine stories about people who have made terrible gaffes in e-mail - stories that can be told in a roomful of professionals. Maybe you have a co-worker who typed something so badly, his or her phrasing couldn't be understood. Maybe your manager buried an important request in a boring diatribe that nobody could be expected to read. Or maybe you've embarrassed yourself in front of all the wrong people because you forgot to pause and think before you hit Send. 

Please add your story in the comments below and hide any details (names, companies, etc.) that you don't want revealed. If I use your tale, I'll send you an autographed copy of my upcoming book, "Smart People, Stupid E-Mails" when it hits the stands.

We all know there are a lot of stupid e-mails out there, and from my point of view, the more, the merrier. So please feel free to launch this request out into the e-mailsphere. And thanks, in advance, for the stupid e-mails.

What Makes a Tweet Retweet?

 

Recently Dan Zarella, who calls himself "The Social Media & Viral Marketing Scientist," studied millions of entries on Twitter to determine what makes a tweet retweetable. The results comprise a 22-page report, but a compelling and graphically enhanced version from Dan Macsai, an assistant editor at Fast Company, covers a lot of fascinating points.

What retweets and what doesn't? To a great extent, idle chat, including words such as "watching," "game," "bored," "gonna" and "sleep" scored low on the retweet scale; but standard social media fare, such as "check out," "blog post," "free," "social," "media" and "please retweet" scored high.

Most of the positive retweet dynamics, we're happy to report, include some mark of intelligence: For example, using actual punctuation improves retweetability (but stay away from the stodgy old semicolon), and retweeted material tends to have more syllables per word (which puts it slightly higher than random tweets on readability grade-level scales).

The report also covers URL shorteners, timing of tweets, parts of speech, original versus non-original content, and more. Read the Fast Company article here, and happy intelligent tweeting.

How to Complain

If you’ve never read “the world’s funniest complaint letter” – a pointed and lengthy bashing of one airline passenger’s on-board dining experience – you should immediately go there, work your way through the ghastly photos and hilarious text, and then come back here so we can discuss how to write a complaint letter of your own.

The Virgin Atlantic letter, which surfaced in January of this year, was written by Oliver Beale, an advertising executive who, while flying to London from Mumbai, found himself on the receiving end of a decidedly unpleasant meal. Beale took pictures of the various dishes, typed out his many disappointments, and sent his missive directly to Virgin CEO Richard Branson ("Sir Richard" to the Brits).

In his letter Beale bemoaned the “yellow shafts of sponge” he’d been served along with “green paste” and “a sour gel,” and he called up the hopes and disappointments of a child on Christmas – one who expected a wonderful gift but has found his own dead hamster wrapped in a box. “That’s how I felt when I peeled back the foil and saw this,” Beale wrote, referencing yet another photo of yellow glop. 

The letter actually had an effect. Branson reportedly read it, called Beale to thank him for the tongue-in-cheek input and even invited him to participate in future taste tests for the airline.

Of course, most letters of complaint don’t work nearly that well, and it’s worth looking into what made this one a success – and what you can do to get some attention when you’ve got a complaint of your own.
 
First, Beale started on a positive note, writing that he loves the Virgin brand. That type of flattery may seem unnecessary in the average discussion of what’s gone wrong, but if you truly want to attract someone’s attention, first tell them something nice.

Second, Beale was specific. He didn’t vaguely suggest the food was beneath his standards or that it didn’t taste very good; he gave a precise account of each yucky course. If you’re trying to rectify a bad situation or let someone know where improvement is due, tell them exactly what you've witnessed, received or experienced and where your disappointment lies.

Third, Beale didn’t lay blame. Even with his amusing “No sane person would serve a desert with a tomato” and “How can you live like this?” Beale didn’t actually attack anyone for causing his discontent. While it’s often tempting to assail someone’s nasty behavior or inability to perform, you’ll get a better hearing if you avoid personal insults and stick to the facts.

Fourth, Beale wrote well. He wasn't perfect, and his Briticisms might throw some of us off (for one thing, we Americans would use a lot more commas), but altogether the writing was clear and generally correct. He didn’t leave his audience assuming these might be the rantings of a fool, and he didn’t give them reason to deride his comments.

Of course, the best thing about Beale’s letter was that it was an absolute hoot. The lesson? Write something people will actually want to read.

When Not to E-Mail

There’s an old saying that tells us when the only tool we have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. In the modern office, that tool seems to be e-mail. But the truth is, e-mail sometimes causes more harm than help.

Here’s a quick look at the top 10 situations when e-mail just won’t work.

#10 – You want to send a heartfelt thanks – or apology. If you want to show genuine gratitude, taking 10 seconds to tap out your appreciation won’t do. Go out of your way by thanking someone publicly, buying lunch, or sending a handwritten note. If you owe an apology, give it in person.

#9 – You haven’t spoken in a long time. Business relationships thrive on personal contact, but e-mail can be a barrier to real communication. Pick up the phone once in a while, or walk down the hall and say Hello.

#8 – Your request isn’t crucial to them. When you e-mail busy people with a request, don’t be surprised if they ignore you. If you really want to ask a favor, start a personal conversation, instead.

#7 – You have enormous files to attach. E-mail seems like a handy way to send huge files, but you could clog your recipient’s system, and spam filters can turn you away. Check with your correspondent to see about file-size limits, and post large items on Web sites or shared drives.

#6 – You want to keep it confidential. It takes only a couple of keystrokes to turn a private conversation into a public tumult. Remember: E-mail might feel hush-hush, but thousands of red-faced people have found that it’s not.

#5 – You need an immediate reply. Some people arrange every moment around what just popped into the inbox, but plenty of people don’t. If you need an answer quickly, chat, call, text or IM.

#4 – You’re trying to convey “This is important.” For many recipients, your e-mail is likely to be one of dozens that come in every day – or every hour. Unless your name or your subject line is the most important thing on someone’s list, it’s easy to get lost in the clutter.

#3 – Your subject is complicated. Trying to explain a million details can get lengthy and difficult in text. When you’re staring at the screen wondering how to start – or re-explaining the thing you thought you had covered before – switch over to talk mode to get immediate feedback on what’s not clear.

#2 – Things could get tense. Emotion is one of e-mail’s biggest weak spots, and it’s easy to read attitude into the simplest of statements. If the topic of your e-mail is painful – or if you suspect hard feelings could occur – call a meeting so that all parties can use voice, expression and body language instead of just text.

#1 – E-mail caused the problem in the first place. Most hammers have a claw that helps you pull out badly driven nails, but e-mail doesn’t work like that. Once you’ve delivered a bad pounding in e-mail – an insensitive message, an embarrassing statement to the wrong mailing list – you need to deliver your mea culpa in some other way.